Purpose

My journey towards understanding my purpose in life has been long, arduous, and with a healthy dose of dramatics.  Dramatics such as sobbing buckets of tears while exclaiming over and over, "What is my purpose, God?!"  However, if you have ever had such a crying session, you also know it is no joke.


To have a knowingness deep deep deep within your soul, that pounds against the inside walls of your being day in and day out.  To have this itchy restlessness within you, pressing you to keep looking and looking because you know the answer is right around the corner, on the tip of your tongue, on the next page...  To be hounded and teased by the Holy Spirit to follow a path that eventually looks like a wrongly numbered connect-the-dots picture.  This is what it means to truly seek your purpose … because your purpose is seeking you.

"Imagine if the Tea Party was Black" by Tim Wise

Let’s play a game, shall we? The name of the game is called “Imagine.” The way it’s played is simple: we’ll envision recent happenings in the news, but then change them up a bit. Instead of envisioning white people as the main actors in the scenes we’ll conjure - the ones who are driving the action - we’ll envision black folks or other people of color instead. The object of the game is to imagine the public reaction to the events or incidents, if the main actors were of color, rather than white. Whoever gains the most insight into the workings of race in America, at the end of the game, wins.

"How do we sing the Lord's songs in a Strange Land?"

I mentioned earlier that my family and I are moving, and it is a rather big deal.  


My husband has accepted a call to pastor a small Baptist church on the Mainline (a section outside of the city that is majority white, affluent, privileged).  At first, I rejoiced at the news because a) our kids would be able to attend an exceedingly wonderful school district for free, and b) the parsonage is air-conditioned, has a dishwasher, and *thank you Blessed Jesus* closets in the hallway!  All the elements of a dream home for me, praise God!


After the reality of this move began to sink in, I began to inwardly groan.  I would be moving to what I have called "bougie-land", which would be almost a 180 degree change for me.

Blog?

I have been doing lots of reflecting and thinking lately, talking to God and asking a lot of "Why?" questions.  Of course, getting very few, if any, answers.  My most frequent question is a "What", as in "What do you want me to do when my time of Family Leave has ended, put my children in preschool and daycare, and begin to lift my hands and heart towards ministry work again?"  This question has been a daily breathed prayer.

Who says the Lord does not answer prayer?  When I pose that question to God, the answer I consistently receive is "Write."  So, I will write.

I will write about my meditations and reflections on our broken society, the places where economic disempowerment and racism meet, and where so many people are inadvertently (or advertently) prevented from coming to God's table of Love. I will also write about my fascination with environmental stewardship as an act of worshipping and serving God.  This has been a growing thing for me, and I would like to explore that more here in this place.  I will write about my journey as my family and I pack up our belongings and move to an area of the city that is only 10 miles away yet is a cultural break for us.  If you are interested in these things and would like to journey with me, or just want to pop in from time to time to observe this journey, please join me.  Your voice, your presence, and your gifts are welcome.